Talk to Girls

It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious about engaging in conversation with a girl you have just met. Your anxiety may come from shyness, low self-esteem, a lack of dating experience or a fear of rejection, says psychologist Jeremy Nicholson in the article “Break the Ice: How to Talk to Girls and Guys,” for “Psychology Today.” Don’t let these worries stop you from getting to know a girl you like. A few simple techniques will help — and the key is to practice them often.

Break the Ice

When you first meet a girl, you may both be feeling nervous. The first step toward an enjoyable conversation is to break the ice. Don’t obsess over trying to impress her, advises Nicholson. Focus more on getting to know her. Be curious. Ask her a question, and try to keep it lighthearted and fun. For example, if she is wearing a purple top, ask her if it’s her favorite color, and why. You could quiz her on her choice of beverage or ask something completely random, to grab her attention and make her smile, such as “What was the name of your first childhood pet?” or “What do you want to be when you grow up?” (regardless of her age.) This type of exchange will kick start the process of getting to know each other.

Ask the Right Questions

To keep conversation flowing, you need to ask open-ended questions, i.e. questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer. Start your questions with “what,” “when,” “where,” “how” and “why,” suggests relationship coach Lyndsay Katauskas in the article “How to Talk to Women — 5 Tips,” for “YourTango.” If you’re worried you’ll become tongue-tied, prepare some questions or topics in advance. Having a list in your mind of things you can talk about, such as topical events, sports teams or summer vacations, will take the pressure off.

Give Back

While it’s great to ask a girl questions to show you are interested in her, don’t make her feel that you are interrogating her. Let her get to know you, too. Keep the focus on her, but show your personality and respond to what she says with information about yourself. Don’t forget your body language, says body language expert Judi James, author of “The Body Language Bible.” Maintain good eye contact, listen actively, smile regularly and keep your body open (no crossed arms.) James recommends a technique called “mirroring,” which involves imitating — without being too obvious — the pace and style of her body movements. For example, lean on the bar or cross one leg in front of the other when she does. This sends her a subtle signal that you’re interested in her.

Stay in the Present

Worrying about whether a girl is going to reject you, how long she will talk to you for or how she will respond if you ask for her number is pointless. Embrace your fear, take a deep breath and get on with it, advises health coach Catherine Chen in the article “Operation Charisma — How to Talk to That Cute Guy or Girl With Total Confidence,” for “Huffington Post.” Enjoy getting to know the girl without letting your mind race ahead to start planning your future. She may not end up being your girlfriend, but you can still have an enjoyable conversation and make a new friend.

The internet has blown the world of dating wide open. You no longer have to approach someone you’re interested in to ask them out. Now, free dating apps can help you connect with potential mates and chat with them electronically.

But what happens if a girl catches your eye on Facebook? How can you approach her and get to know her without scaring her off? Let’s discuss some important advice about how to approach a girl on Facebook and increase your chances of going on a date.

1. Make Sure Your Profile Isn’t Weird

Years ago, most people were quick to accept any Facebook friend requests that came their way. Now, thanks to regular Facebook scams and spammers, savvy users won’t add people they don’t know.

So before you even send her a friend request, take a look at your own profile. Make sure you’re using a clear photo of yourself and not some animated character or random picture of nature. If you have some inside joke as your middle name, change it so it doesn’t look strange. Make sure your place of work is accurate so she can identify you.

She’ll likely give your profile a look before she decides whether to accept your friend request, so make sure it represents you well.

2. Consider Your Approach

Once you’ve cleaned up your profile, your next step is considering what your relationship with this girl is. How to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook depends on how well you know her.

If she’s a random girl you’ve never met before and have no connections to: Good luck. You might as well send her a friend request and hope for the best. If you send her a message it will likely end up in her filtered inbox, where she’ll never see it. You don’t have many options aside from sending her a request.

If you’re not Facebook friends with her but you have mutual friends: Are there any pictures or something else interesting on Facebook that involve the two of you? Perhaps you both went to a festival with mutual friends and there’s a picture that has both of you tagged in it. Commenting something general about the event will at least let her know you exist. Try doing something like that before you send her a friend request so she has an idea of who you are.

If you’re already Facebook friends with her: Consider asking her out via another method other than Facebook. If you’re too nervous to do this, send her a message letting her know that there’s an event going on this weekend and you thought she might like to go. Don’t turn it into a “date” and don’t put any pressure on the situation. Ideally, you should gather some friends together to go so it’s a group of friends hanging out rather than a date.

Nearly every situation will fall into one of these three scenarios. To ask a girl out on Facebook, you must have some kind of friend connection with her so she sees your messages. If you haven’t sent her a friend request yet, it all falls on whether she accepts it or not.

3. How to Chat With a Girl on Facebook

Let’s suppose that the girl you’re crushing on decides to add you as a friend on Facebook. Now you’re able to contact her through Facebook Messenger. Assuming she doesn’t know you very well, your initial message should introduce yourself and assure her that you’re not a spammer.

If you have mutual friends, start by mentioning who you both know, like this:

“Hi Molly, I’m Josh! Facebook told me that we both know Sarah and I remember talking to you once at a Smash Mouth concert. Have you heard their newest album?”

This lets her know who you are because you have a mutual friend, and discusses something that you’re both interested in right away.

Since you’re now friends on Facebook, take a few minutes to review her profile and see what she’s interested in. Check the About tab on her page to see what she went to school for and what her current job is. Some people add their favorite quotes, media, or random details about themselves in the Details about [Name] sidebar, but this isn’t too common.

Take a look at her recent photos to see what she’s done lately. Anything you can learn about her that gives you something interesting to talk about is key.

Messaging a Girl You Don’t Know

If you’re attempting to ask a girl out that you don’t know, try something like this as your first message:

“Hi Haley! I’m Mike. We haven’t met, but your profile came up as a recommended friend in my Facebook feed and you caught my eye. I saw that your profile picture shows you at the Grand Canyon—is that the first time you’ve been there? I visited it with my family last year and it was one of the coolest places I’ve ever seen.”

There’s no guarantee something like this will work, but being honest is as good a strategy as any. If she responds, continue with a natural conversation. Don’t be weird: just talk to her like a human being.

4. How to Ask a Girl Out on Facebook (Appropriately)

After you’ve chatted a few times, you should stop and gauge the interactions so far before proceeding. When you’ve messaged her, does she try to respond in a timely manner? Is there back-and-forth conversation or do you tend to get one-word answers like “Yeah” and “OK”? Has she expressed any interest in you, or does it seem like she’s simply putting up with you?

Consider these questions carefully. If you’ve had a great time talking with this girl and feel like she’d be receptive to meeting up, give it a try. But if she doesn’t seem interested when you’re making pleasant conversation, it’s likely that she isn’t interested in a date.

At this point, if you don’t want to ask her on a date just yet, try asking her for her phone number. That way, you can communicate through texting or a messaging app like WhatsApp. Using this, you can try talking more often throughout the day instead of using only Facebook. Should you sense an interest, you can try asking her out via a phone call instead of Facebook, which should have better results.

The Big Moment: Asking Her Out

If you want to forgo all of this and ask a girl out on Facebook now, phrase the question tastefully. People know that others on the internet aren’t always who they seem, so you don’t want to do anything strange.

For instance, you certainly don’t want to ask her to go to a wild remote location. You can suggest spending time in a group similar to the above, or try something like this pretty safe request:

“Norah, I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you over these past few weeks and I’d love to hang out in person if you’d be up for it. What do you think about meeting for coffee at the Starbucks on Oak Avenue this Saturday afternoon?”

Note two important facets of this: meeting in a public place, and giving a specific time for a date. You don’t want to ask her to go up to your grandparents’ cabin in the woods with you for a weekend, as that’s creepy. It’s also important to avoid generalizations when it comes to the details of the date. Don’t leave it open to “hang out sometime”. Instead, mention a specific date and time frame so she can give you a straight answer.

Her Response

After you ask her out, it could play out in a few ways:

She deletes you as a friend and/or blocks you. Should your request bother her so much that she decides to remove you as a friend, you need to let it go and move on. Don’t complain to your mutual friends about her or try to conjure up some scenario to talk to her again.

She doesn’t respond. If this is the case, wait a few days. Then check in Messenger to make sure that she saw your message and isn’t away on vacation or something. If she’s seen it but hasn’t responded, you can follow up one time: “Hey Norah, I just wanted to check and make sure you saw my message!” A lack of response to this means that she’s not interested. Do not attempt to contact her again; leave her alone.

She says no. Don’t argue or ask why. You can say something along the lines of “No problem, just thought I’d see if you were interested!” Then it’s up to you whether you continue chatting with her or not. If you try to continue making conversation and she seems distant, it’s probably best to move on.

She gives you a vague answer or excuse. Sometimes, to “let you down easy,” girls won’t give you a straight “no” when you ask them out. Instead, they’ll provide an excuse and leave you wondering if you should pursue the matter further. In this case, you should follow the Brad Pitt Rule:

She accepts. If she says she’d be delighted to go, that’s great! Confirm the details with her so you’re on the same page. You should also ask for her phone number so you can get ahold of her if something happens on the day of the date.

5. How to Talk to Girls on Facebook: A Few No-Nos

We’ve walked through the steps and potential pitfalls of asking a girl out on Facebook. To finish up, let’s discuss some methods you should avoid. Trying to get a girl’s attention with these will make you look like an idiot, cause her to feel uncomfortable, and not end well at all.

Don’t send boring and generic messages. Don’t make your first message to the girl you’re interested in “Hey.” Not only is this boring and tells her nothing about you, it could also make her think you’re one of those online dating scammers. Be unique—she’s worth more than an introduction you came up with in two seconds.

DO NOT ask a girl out through public means. Aside from Messenger, basically everything you do on Facebook is visible to others. Never, ever try to flirt with a girl or ask her out via a status update, posting on her timeline, leaving a comment on her photo, etc. It’s ridiculously childish, will embarrass her, and people will wonder what the heck you’re doing. Asking through Facebook is already easier than in person, so don’t be a coward.

Don’t be creepy. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Don’t comment on dozens of her photos in a row. Send messages sparingly. Avoid using stupid pick-up lines. And never make any crude or sexual comments. They’re not funny and make you look like a teenager.

Don’t act like your life depends on this. Be casual about the experience. You’re just talking to a person and there will be plenty more opportunities to date people if she’s not interested.

Under no circumstances should you “poke” her on Facebook. We’re not sure why this feature still exists. Don’t use it.

Want to learn how to talk to girls in a way that consistently sparks attraction? Discover the secrets to meeting gorgeous women and making them yours!

If you want to learn how to talk to girls in a way that consistently sparks attraction, then you’re in the right place. I’m going to share with you some simple yet effective techniques that will allow you to easily and consistently attract women into your bedroom and your life.

But first, tell me if this sounds familiar:

You’re hanging out with your friends when out of nowhere appears a drop dead gorgeous girl that makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach flip. “Could this be the one?” You start to imagine what her ass looks like underneath that sundress when suddenly, all the things that you had to say get sucked out of your brain and you’re left completely blank. Before you have the chance to make your move she disappears, never to be seen again…

If you’re nodding your head in agreement and reliving the frustration of missing out on yet another beautiful girl, you’re not alone. After all, most of us aren’t taught how to talk to girls growing up. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way: Learning how to talk to women and consistently spark attraction is a learnable skill, just like any other.

In this article, I’m going to share with you the hardest-hitting, most effective techniques on how to talk to girls in a way that causes an instant magnetic attraction.

Powerful Concepts to Short-Cut Your Results

You already have enough info about how to talk to women to go out and start setting day 2’s with attractive women right now. Here are some extra tips to help you take your game to the next level.

#1. Opposites Attract

Want to know the key to making her sexually attracted to you?

Show her your masculine side.

For there to be sexual attraction, you need the polarity between the feminine and masculine energy. You see, women are deeply attracted to masculine men. Just as you probably are attracted to very feminine women.

Just like magnets, when you put two positive sides together… they repel. But when you bring two opposite sides together… they attract. So show her your masculine side because she won’t want to sleep with you if you show too much femininity.

That means:

•     Speak loudly and with a powerful low voice
•     Stand up tall and be proud
•     Speak your mind… don’t be afraid to say no to her
•     Lead the interaction and bring her into your world.
•     Have powerful eye contact

I’m not saying to be aggressive towards her, but definitely don’t be a wimp.

#2. Emotion vs. Logic

One common mistake guys make when learning how to talk to women is to communicate logically when they should be communicating emotionally. While logic has its time and place, it’s certainly not the language of seduction. Women respond to emotions. When you’re breaking rapport (i.e., teasing them), you’re spiking emotions of fun and excitement. And when you’re building connection, you’re triggering the emotions of safety, security, and intimacy.

On the contrary, speaking logically has no benefit when it comes to turning on women and making them want to be with you. So communicate emotionally instead when talking to women you’re interested in, and save logic for other areas of your life.

#3. Self-Amusement

Self-amusement is exactly what it sounds like: Using the interaction as an opportunity to amuse yourself. This is key to keeping the conversation freshand interesting when first learning what to talk about with a woman. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll never run out of things to say! You’ll feel good talking about something that matters to you, and it will attract women like nobody’s business. When you’re interested in or amused by what it is you’re saying or doing, the girl will naturally be interested as well.

Here are a few ways to self-amuse:

•     Talking about things you’re passionate about
•     Debating topics you find interesting
•     Making jokes that you think are funny – whether or not she gets it!
•     Having her do things that amuse you

#4. Qualification

Qualifying a girl is when you test her to make sure she fits certain criteria that are important to you. This demonstrates that you are a man with standards, and it puts her in the position of trying to prove herself to you. Perhaps most importantly, it ensures that the women you’re allowing into your life are the exact types of people you want to surround yourself with.

In order to properly qualify a woman, you first need to take the time to decide what’s important to you in a woman.

• What personality traits do you value?
• How do you want her to treat herself and those around her?
• How do you want her to be sexually?

The more specific you can be with your qualifications, the clearer the image of your ideal woman will be in your head. This will make it easier for you to spot her when you see her, and it will make your qualifications more congruent.

Once you know what you want, you can qualify the girl by simply asking her if she’s the type of person you’re looking for. For example, if I want a girl who will be down to have threesomes with me, I might ask her “Have you ever kissed a girl before?” followed up by “What did you think about it?”.

Hopefully, you’re beginning to see how powerful it is to be the type of man who knows how to talk to women in a way that demonstrates he has standards. Once you’re able to qualify a woman congruently, she’ll be eating out of the palm of your hand.

HOW TO START A CONVERSATION WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

When first learning how to talk to girls, most guys get caught up on the first hurdle: Initiating conversation. But starting a conversation with a beautiful woman can be as simple as walking up and introducing yourself. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

1.) Approach within 3 seconds – when you see a woman you want to talk to, start talking to her within 3 seconds of seeing her, no matter what. This short-circuits your brains’ ability to come up with excuses, and helps you build a habit of talking to hot girls – which is not a bad habit to have! It also conveys confidence, which has long been known to be a major attraction trigger for women.

2.) Open strong – Coming in with a strong opening line can start the interaction off on the right foot. Playful and flirty opening lines can be great. However, there’s no problem with keeping it simple if you’re feeling tongue-tied. Here are some examples of great opening lines:

• “Have you noticed that you and I are like the hottest/coolest people in this entire place? It’s true, so I figured we have to meet.” Say this one half-jokingly.
• “Hey real quick, this is totally random, but I just saw you over here, and I thought you were absolutely stunning. I had to come over and say ‘hi’.“
• “Are you shy? Because I’ve been here for 10 minutes and you haven’t talked to me yet, or flirted with me, or bought me a drink… you must be shy.” Try saying this one in a teasing manner
• “Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met yet. I’m [Your Name].” Say this confidently, with strong eye contact and a warm smile.

Feel free to modify the openers based on the situation, your mood, and your own individual style. And don’t be afraid to try new things! You’re not going to break anything.

3.) Don’t get hung up on the opener! – Believe it or not, the actual words that come out of your mouth when you first meet a woman aren’t all that important, especially when compared to the overall vibe that you’re giving off. Later on, when you have more experience, it’s worth coming back and practicing different kinds of openers. But when you’re first learning to attract women, it’s totally fine to say the first thing that comes to your mind when you first approach her. This will get you in the habit of going for it instead of second-guessing yourself – and developing that killer instinct will get you more women than any pickup line ever could.

Attraction begins before you ever open your mouth or walk up to the girl. She starts deciding whether or not she likes you from the moment she first notices you based on your energy, your body language, and the way you carry yourself. These are all examples of nonverbal attraction triggers – things you do that trigger attraction other than the words you say.

Nonverbal attraction triggers include dominant body language and eye contact, a confident vibe, proper vocal tonality and more. Having dominant nonverbals triggers extreme attraction in women because it congruently indicates that you’re capable of protecting them. This feeling of safety is arousing to women, as they have a biological need for an alpha male who is capable of watching over and protecting them during pregnancy and motherhood. When you see how deeply ingrained this need is in a woman’s biology, it should come as no surprise that a woman can make a decision on your attractiveness based on your nonverbals alone!

As a beginner, the highest-leverage change you can make in your nonverbal attraction game is to work on presenting open, confident body language at all times. Simply standing up straight, keeping eye contact, and smiling is enough to begin to attract women. Also, be sure to keep your hands visible – it will make her feel more at ease in your presence. This type of body language also projects confidence and dominance. Once you nail proper body language, you can build attraction with a woman without even opening your mouth.

You can verbally build attraction through verbal breaks in rapport.

In order to understand breaking rapport, you first need to understand seeking rapport – the strategy that unattractive, low-status men use to try to get women to like them which includes chasing, self-censorship, and supplication. Seeking rapport is a huge turnoff to women because it exposes the man as being insecure, needy, and living in a state of scarcity with women. This is the type of guy that will get “friend-zoned” or ignored completely.

A high-status man, on the other hand, will actively break rapport. This single-handedly differentiates him from the rest of the herd and demonstrates that he’s a confident man who doesn’t need any particular woman because he’s living in a state of abundance. The type of man that can confidently and congruently break rapport is the type of man that women dream about and pursue.

There are many ways that you can verbally break rapport. Let’s focus on one type of rapport break for now: Teasing.

A tease is a playful jab where you imply something funny or “off” about the girl in a joking way. It spikes the energy of the conversation, and when done right, it should feel fun for both you and her. Teasing a girl is absolute gold for getting her attracted to you because it communicates that you’re a confident guy who doesn’t need anything from her.

Here are some examples of teasing:

• Giving her a funny nickname. For instance, if I meet a girl at the gym, I might start calling her Hercules.
• Making jokes about her being the type of girl that chases guys. For instance, if she’s checking out a guy in public (or even just looking at someone), I might say “You’re so thirsty! Stop looking so hard; he’s going to notice!” This could even work if the guy she’s looking at is an old man or very unattractive. In fact, it’s even funnier!
• Making jokes about her being overly sexual. For instance, if she touches me I might say “Woah there, slow down! I’m saving myself for marriage.”

Just keep in mind that all teases should be done in an obviously playful manner. You know you’re teasing properly when the girl laughs, teases you back, or just lights up in general.

However, if she gets offended or hurt by your tease, then you may want to dial back the intensity of your jabs and make it more clear through your body language and facial expressions that you’re just joking around.

Another way to spike attraction verbally is by being a challenge. Most guys don’t challenge hot women to be anything other than just hot. This shows a lack of experience, which indicates scarcity and is unattractive. A more seasoned man will tend to have higher standards for the women he dates. When you challenge a girl to provide more than just a pretty face and a nice body, you set yourself apart from the rest of the herd. We’ll dive deeper into this topic later in the article, in the section on qualification.

Once she’s laughing and playing into the good vibes, you know you’re on the right track. Now it’s time to build a deeper connection with the girl. Building a connection will make you feel closer to one another, and it gives her more incentive to see you again. Plus, when you learn how to talk to girls in a way that builds comfort – the way that I’m about to show you – it makes setting up a date with her a cinch!

There are many ways to build a connection. For now, let’s focus the basics of relating to the girl.

Relating to the girl is when you and her share things about yourselves that the other can empathize with. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with one another, or that you’ve had had the same experience – in fact, it’s perfectly fine to disagree with the things she says from time to time. Relating is about being vulnerable to one another in a way that builds trust and connection.

When asking questions to relate to the girl, you’ll start with more superficial questions which gradually become deeper and more personal as you get to know one another. You could begin with something like finding out whether or not she likes sushi and end up discovering her secret dream to one day tour as a musician.

Sharing vulnerable things about one another is one of the fastest ways to strengthen the bonds of trust and intimacy within a relationship. This means that the deeper you go, the more invested the girl will be in you and the closer you’ll feel to one another.

To begin leading towards a more vulnerable discussion, you’ll begin with level 1 vulnerability questions – standard get-to-know-you chit-chat – and eventually work your way down to level 3 – deeper, more personal questions.

I’ve also included a list of logistical questions, which will help make setting up dates easier.

Logistical questions:

•     What kind of food are you into?
•     What do you do to stay fit?
•     What’s something you do for fun that would surprise me?
•     What’s your idea of a good time?

Level 1 questions:

• What are you most passionate about?
•  What’s more important to you – money or love? Why?
•  What are you most proud of about yourself?
•  What’s your story?

Level 2 questions:

•  What’s your biggest regret?
•  If you could do anything in life with no chance of failure, what would it be?
•  What’s your favorite memory?
•  What memory is the most difficult for you?
•  What was your life like growing up?

Level 3 questions:

•  If we were ever to become very close, what’s something you would want me to know about you?
•  What’s the last thing that brought you to tears? Why?
•  What topics aren’t funny to joke about to you? Why not?
•  What’s your biggest fear?
•  If right now was your last moment on Earth, what would you regret not saying or doing? Why? Why don’t you? What would happen if you did that thing right now?

Asking questions that you care to hear the answer to and really listening is one of the fastest ways to build a deep connection. Its one of the essentials when learning how to talk to girls. Plus, it’s often very enjoyable finding out about the person in front of you and realizing how much they have to offer as a person.

So… You already learned how to attract women through teasing, how to build a commonality, and how to vibe and kiss during the interaction sexually. The next step is to set up a day 2. I know I called it a date earlier, but now I want you to erase that word from your vocabulary! You don’t go on dates anymore. Instead, you go on day 2’s.

What’s a day 2? So glad you asked!

A day 2 is like a better version of a date. We call it day 2 instead of a date because traditionally, a date is coming from the frame of the man trying to impress the woman, which is actually detrimental when it comes to attracting women. A date is formal and stiff, whereas a day 2 is fun and light. A date consists of you trying to impress her, whereas a day 2 consists of you both having fun together. You get the idea.

The simplest way to set up your day 2 when first learning how to talk to women is to leverage one of the commonalities you’ve established with her. Let’s go with the sushi example: You found out that you both love sushi. And you happen to know of a new sushi bar opening up in a couple of days. Now, setting up the day 2 is as simple as inviting her to check it out with you. If you’ve done the other steps properly so far, the chances of her being excited to go with you are very high!

This is also the perfect chance to get her phone number. After she agrees to go on the day 2 with you, you can say something like “perfect, give me your number so I can text you if anything changes.”

Oh – and in case you were unsure, you don’t need to call it a date or a day 2 to her. Just call it hanging out.

Congrats! You just learned how to approach a random woman and make her a part of your life in one conversation. Remember, the more you practice these techniques, the more effortless it will become not just to, but attract women, too. Eventually, you’ll become proficient enough to know how to talk to women in any given scenario to quickly gain attraction and set up a date.

There are two categories of places to meet girls. If you want to know how to talk to girls, you need to acquaint yourself with these places. These can be broken up into “day game” and “night game” venues.

Let’s talk a bit about the pros and cons of each, as well as how to modify your approach depending on the environment to attract women with the greatest consistency.

Meeting girls at nightlife venues are my top recommendation for those trying to improve their seduction skills. Nightlife venues are high-density, which lets you get a lot of approaches and practice in a short amount of time.

Some good night game venues include:

•     Clubs
•     Bars
•     Lounges
•     Concerts and other events

Night game is often boisterous and fast-paced. Because of this, it helps to take a more physical and high energy approach. This includes being more animated with your body language and facial expressions, projecting your voice, and speaking in short, simple sentences so as to be understood. You can also be much more physical during the nighttime, including leading and breaking rapport physically.

For the night game, I often go indirect, especially if it’s in a venue that I frequent. This means that my opens are social in nature and I don’t convey a special interest in any particular girl off the bat. Indirect openers would include “Hey, how do you know everyone here?” and “Hey, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself yet, I’m [Your Name]. Who are you?” These openers convey that you have friends in the area, which lends you status and social proof.

Once I’ve opened the set, I’ll often dive straight into qualification and leading. During night game, I want to immediately begin screening for girls who are down to get pulled that night, and I tailor my qualifications and leads accordingly.

Here are some examples of qualification and leading for night game:

•     “Are you adventurous? Oh, really… What’s the craziest thing you’ve done all week?”
•     Say “come with me.” Then take her hand and lead her around the venue, stopping to enjoy cool places like photo booths, the bar, etc.
•     “Are you a good dancer?” Then lead her to the dance floor and start dancing with her.

Aside from qualifying and leading, you could also tell a story about a crazy, funny time you had. For night game stories, the more raunchy, crazy, or hilarious the better – as long as they paint you in a flattering light. Think of the moments in your life that could be made into TMZ headlines, and tell stories about that. The mindset to have when telling a story is that you’re sharing with the girl for your own amusement and enjoyment, and NOT trying to impress her or make her like you. After all, if she’s spending any amount of time with you in a night game venue, there’s a high chance that she already does like you.

And remember, if you ever go completely blank, that’s totally fine – night game venues are more physical than verbal, so feel free to simply yell “adventure!”, grab her hand, and lead her to do something physical such as dancing, photo booths, or out the front door of the venue to take her home.

You can also screen for logistics, which allows you to find out about her logistical situation for the evening while moving the conversation forward.

Here are some examples of logistical questions for night game:

•     “Who are you here with tonight?”
•     “Where do you live / how did you get here tonight?”
•     “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Asking these questions will get you valuable information about her logistics and let you know if there are any obstacles that you’ll need to overcome in order to pull her. Plus, once you have the answer to a logistical question, you can riff on that topic with her, further adding to the conversation.

Social proof – including preselection – is your secret weapon when it comes to the night game. Build social proof by being friendly and welcoming to everyone in the area. Bounce from group to group instead of sticking to one individual, especially earlier on in the night. This allows people to see that you’re a friendly, social guy with an apparently large amount of social clout, which will have the baddies fighting over you by the end of the night.

Having an after party or another excuse to pull at the end of the night can make your pulling logistics a breeze. When the club closes down, people will want to keep the party going. Knowing where the after-party is or hosting it yourself gives you the best chances of pulling a hot girl from a nighttime venue.

The drawback of day game is that there is usually a smaller volume of people, which means fewer opportunities for you to practice and succeed. However, it can still be worth your time to get experience learning how to talk to girls in different environments. Plus, it’s the main way that you’ll meet women on a day-to-day basis as you’re going about your life.

Some good day game venues include:

•     Art galleries & museums
•     Parks
•     Malls
•     Coffee shops

During day game, people are often busy running to and from work, running errands, or simply going about their day. Because of this, you’ll use time constraints frequently in a day game. For instance, you might open by saying, “I need to meet up with my friend in just a second, but I wanted to come say…?”. This takes the time pressure off the girl, making her more receptive to your approach.

Unlike bars and clubs, daytime settings are not typically designed to meet strangers. Because of this, you will sometimes catch girls off guard when you approach them during the daytime. You can soften this effect by acknowledging the situation and saying something like “this is really random” or “I saw you from down the street and I had to come say hi”.

Use the COMPLIMENT, QUALIFY, CLOSE system. (CQC)

Compliment – First, you compliment the girl on something about her style, appearance, or vibe. This lets her know immediately what your intentions are, which makes getting the number easier.

For example, you might say, “Hey, this is super random… I have to meet my friends in a second, but I wanted to come let you know… You’re absolutely adorable!”

You’ll notice that, in addition to a compliment, the above opener also includes a time constraint and an acknowledgment of the situation.

Instead of complimenting her directly, you could also imply the compliment, like so:

“Listen, I saw you here, and I had to come over and meet you. Hi, I’m [Your Name]”.

Qualify – Now that you’ve given her a bit of your interest, it’s time to take a step back and make her prove to you that she’s worthy of your continued attention.

You can do this by qualifying her as we discussed earlier.

This will get her to start chasing you, which is a surefire way to turn on a woman.

For example, you could say “tell me something interesting about yourself” or “what’s something you’re passionate about?”

Once she answers, you can reward her by letting her know you appreciate her answer, or by relating to the topic with your own experiences.

Then, you can rinse and repeat the qualification process in order to continue finding out if she’s “cool enough” to hang out with you.

Close – Day game approaches offer you the unique opportunity to go on instant dates. This is when you go together from the place you met to a second location such a coffee or ice cream shop. A simple way to transition into an instant date is to say something like, “My favorite ice cream shop is right around the corner, I was about to grab a cone. Come with.”

If she’s unable to go on an instant date for whatever reason, you can simply set up a day 2 instead and get her phone number.