Once she’s laughing and playing into the good vibes, you know you’re on the right track. Now it’s time to build a deeper connection with the girl. Building a connection will make you feel closer to one another, and it gives her more incentive to see you again. Plus, when you learn how to talk to girls in a way that builds comfort – the way that I’m about to show you – it makes setting up a date with her a cinch!
There are many ways to build a connection. For now, let’s focus the basics of relating to the girl.
Relating to the girl is when you and her share things about yourselves that the other can empathize with. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with one another, or that you’ve had had the same experience – in fact, it’s perfectly fine to disagree with the things she says from time to time. Relating is about being vulnerable to one another in a way that builds trust and connection.
When asking questions to relate to the girl, you’ll start with more superficial questions which gradually become deeper and more personal as you get to know one another. You could begin with something like finding out whether or not she likes sushi and end up discovering her secret dream to one day tour as a musician.
Sharing vulnerable things about one another is one of the fastest ways to strengthen the bonds of trust and intimacy within a relationship. This means that the deeper you go, the more invested the girl will be in you and the closer you’ll feel to one another.
To begin leading towards a more vulnerable discussion, you’ll begin with level 1 vulnerability questions – standard get-to-know-you chit-chat – and eventually work your way down to level 3 – deeper, more personal questions.
I’ve also included a list of logistical questions, which will help make setting up dates easier.
Logistical questions:
- What kind of food are you into?
- What do you do to stay fit?
- What’s something you do for fun that would surprise me?
- What’s your idea of a good time?
Level 1 questions:
- What are you most passionate about?
- What’s more important to you – money or love? Why?
- What are you most proud of about yourself?
- What’s your story?
Level 2 questions:
- What’s your biggest regret?
- If you could do anything in life with no chance of failure, what would it be?
- What’s your favorite memory?
- What memory is the most difficult for you?
- What was your life like growing up?
Level 3 questions:
- If we were ever to become very close, what’s something you would want me to know about you?
- What’s the last thing that brought you to tears? Why?
- What topics aren’t funny to joke about to you? Why not?
- What’s your biggest fear?
- If right now was your last moment on Earth, what would you regret not saying or doing? Why? Why don’t you? What would happen if you did that thing right now?
Asking questions that you care to hear the answer to and really listening is one of the fastest ways to build a deep connection. Its one of the essentials when learning how to talk to girls. Plus, it’s often very enjoyable finding out about the person in front of you and realizing how much they have to offer as a person.